Living in Switzerland, which is outside the EU, I faced this problem all the time. I'd only get the VAT (Sales tax) deducted at source from larger companies who are registered for VAT because in many instances smaller producers are way below the required limit for registration. Anyway the VAT on goods imported by post is handled by the Swiss Post office who charge the VAT on the whole amount including postage, plus a handling fee based on a fix amount plus 3% of the total value, plus a "storage fee" which was usually quite high.
The good news is that I'm allowed to bring in 300 Swiss Francs worth of products every day with limits on tobacco, food products etc. I also live 1km from the German border. Some enterprising people in Germnay set up a delivery address service so I am now mainly getting things delivered there and collecting them and this is saving me quite a bit of money and also as it doesn't get delivered directly I am not getting an ear-bashing about another parcel turning up!
Cheers
Huw
