Hilarious

[DEL]

Who'd be a cold caller?
Over the past few weeks I've been having some fun with people calling from ' windows' to urgently inform me that my computer is compromised by spyware etc. What I particularly enjoy are the ones who are clearly Indian / Pakistani, going by their accent informing me that they are called Fiona McLeod or Donald Scott. By the way I don't intend this to be racist I'm equally sure when the same individuals phone Germany they become Florian Schralhammer or in Italy Francesca Cardinale.
Anyway here's the classic way to deal with these calls by American comedian Tom Mabe, I'm sure many of you will have heard this before but if you haven't have a listen.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mkdoogjic4I
Cheers
Derek

 

[housecarl]

Classic Del, I'll remember that one. I usually ask if it's OK to turn the kettle off, and leave them to run up their bill.
Carl.

 

[billyturnip]

I can't see the clip 'cause I'm at work but my method is to ask them for their home phone number so we can talk about whatever they want when they are at home. None have taken me up on that yet

Roger.

 

[Jazz]

Absolutely brilliant. Great to get one over on them for a change. :lol:

 

[Ron Tamburrini]

Who'd be a cold caller?
Over the past few weeks I've been having some fun with people calling from ' windows' to urgently inform me that my computer is compromised by spyware etc. What I particularly enjoy are the ones who are clearly Indian / Pakistani, going by their accent informing me that they are called Fiona McLeod or Donald Scott. By the way I don't intend this to be racist I'm equally sure when the same individuals phone Germany they become Florian Schralhammer or in Italy Francesca Cardinale.
Anyway here's the classic way to deal with these calls by American comedian Tom Mabe, I'm sure many of you will have heard this before but if you haven't have a listen.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mkdoogjic4I
Cheers
Derek

I seem to get a lot of Welsh, Indian and pakistani cold callers thinking I have no idea what a Welsh accent sounds like, generally I answer back in what little Italian I have, but heaven help me if they are Italian Pakistanis

Ps this tactic worked when approached outside the louvre by an Eastern European con artist hearing my what he took for an English accent.
he was answered in Russian and took flight

 

[Ron Tamburrini]

Who'd be a cold caller?
Over the past few weeks I've been having some fun with people calling from ' windows' to urgently inform me that my computer is compromised by spyware etc. What I particularly enjoy are the ones who are clearly Indian / Pakistani, going by their accent informing me that they are called Fiona McLeod or Donald Scott. By the way I don't intend this to be racist I'm equally sure when the same individuals phone Germany they become Florian Schralhammer or in Italy Francesca Cardinale.
Anyway here's the classic way to deal with these calls by American comedian Tom Mabe, I'm sure many of you will have heard this before but if you haven't have a listen.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mkdoogjic4I
Cheers
Derek

Thats a belter Del :lol: As good as the scenic grass

 

[DEL]

My method is to be very civil and enthusiastic about resolving this threat to my computer. I tell them that I have memory problems and need to write everything down so this might take some time. After about 6 minutes or so with me saying that I've followed each step we get to the point where the require me to forward details to them, this is where I ask them for an address. They then say "no do it through your computer" I say "I don't have a computer" they say "you must have a computer" I say "I'll go and have a look", remember my memory's poor.
At this point I go and make some coffee. you'd be surprised how long some people are prepared to hang on. I return and say "I've looked everywhere including all my pockets and can't find one but I'll go and check rubbish bins in case I've thrown it out but in the meantime can you please send me one so I can get the information to you" at this point they hang up.
D

 

[Nap]

Del ,

This is a cracker ...love your method of dealing wth these folk ...great as Jazz says to get one over these annoying callers .

Off to practice my Italian/Indian/Arabic/Easter Island languages !!!

Nap

 

[Don]

Ronnie, I could have accepted your postings about racism until you mentioned the Welsh! Some of my best friends are Welsh, Baaaarbraa and Baaasil to name but two.

Del boy. loved your "I'll just go and look for my computer, see if I have one".
Wonderful
Don

 

[Ron Tamburrini]

Ronnie, I could have accepted your postings about racism until you mentioned the Welsh! Some of my best friends are Welsh, Baaaarbraa and Baaasil to name but two.

Del boy. loved your "I'll just go and look for my computer, see if I have one".
Wonderful
Don

Don I wasn't being racist about Welsh, but certain Asian gentleman posing as Welsh and having no idea of the how small a country this is.

Nice to see you have stuck your head up again

 

[Don]

Ronnie, you must be talking about my old mate from Rhonda, Abdul the Coal.

Don

 

[combatartist]

FANTASTIC! My son & I laughed through the whole segment!

 

[DEL]

They're back and I'm taking a new approach Still acting dumb. no problem there, and telling them I'll start up the computer.
I tell them it's a bit slow but in the meantime I'll play them a selection of Captain Beefheart tracks beginning with 'Floppy Boot Stomp'.

Funnily they're never there when I come back, clearly certain good music doesn't travel well culturally.
Cheers
Derek

 

[Gellso]

I just place the phone down beside my pc speaker put my volume to number ten whilst playing call of duty and let them think I'm in a war zone.

 

[RFrancis]

Just tell them they've called during the wake for the person they're calling for and start bawling. That always gets them. The more you ham it up the better it works.

 

[Tecumsea]

I really don't have the time, 2 well chosen words associated with sex and travel, then hang up.
This group aiming to fix my computer have hit me 3 times so far....................but not for long

 

[Colin_Fraser]

I have a firend who always interrupts the spiel and says "have you seen my house?" The salesman ususally says".....nooooo?!?!?!" My friend then says "I ALREADY HAVE WINDOWS AND DOORS."

 

[housecarl]

I usually adopt Keith's method.
Carl.

 

[polyphemus]

Put 'em on hold, play some music for couple of minutes, then play the very hesitant game; ask them to repeat everything (twice at least), pretend to go along with their instructions and then finally tell them you don't have a computer. The last one I did this to accused me of wasting his time! (after about 5 minutes). When I told him it caused me great amusement he vehemently ranted at me (don't think it was in Welsh!) & slammed the phone down. I was amused, he clearly wasn't.

Geoff

 

[flart1943]

I love it.
Pete