Jamie Stokes
A Fixture
Howdy,
inspired by this thread on Missing-Lynx armour models,
http://www.network54.com/Forum/4721...I+learned+about+military+history+from+models-
I thought that I might start one similar here (if the moderators agree - if not, bye -bye thread)
Thungs I Lernt by modelling Figurz
-WW 2 German soldiers wear lot of complicated camouflage patterns, and lost the war
- there seem to be lot more German soldiers then Allies
- Officers point a lot, while wearing binoculars
- NCO's point and yell a lot
- The only Wehrmacht soldiers seen wearing grey, seem to be trying to stay warm during winter in Russia
- 5'oclock shadow is almost compulsory
- When not in combat, marching, or eating, the soldiers must lean on their weapons, whatever the era they are in
- Crusaders liked to strike heroic, manly poses, so centuries later we can sculpt and paint them just right
- Ladies, when making an appearance, have more perfect dimensions then Jessica Alba, Angelina Jolie or Elle McPherson
- Ladies clothing is far, far smaller, tighter, shorter, skimpier, looser, clingy, translucent or suggestive then ever dreamt of, when said clothing is present...
- Ladies made by Anime artists will have serious balance problems, due to hugely exaggerated breast size, skinny and long legs, and tiny, petite, delicate feet
- Fantasy ladies who traveled around during Conan's era prefer chain-mail two piece bikinis, knee high (minimum) leather boots with fold down tops.
- These ladies also wore g-string briefs into combat
- These ladies are also perfectly toned, with great teeth, perfect hair, ample busts, and have shiny armour. Breastplates have never looked so shiny or grubby free
- Elven archers will always have a cloak, blowing dramatically, despite the fact they are usually scrambling through tree tops
- Napoleonic Era Infantry seem to be the only guys who get dirty
- American Civil War soldiers occasionally get really grubby, yet sport magnificent, luxuriant beards
- Space marines will usually have well finished armour, a serious fire arm, and tiny magazine holders on their webbing. I still can't work out where they keep the spare magazines for their main firearm
- Only the most photogenic people made it as soldiers; no weak chinned, buck teethed, glasses wearing puny type with ill fitting uniform ever made it off the recruiting ground...
- ...unless for comic effect, usually to drive NCO's to point and shout some more.
- Axis armoured crews, when portrayed as bust, will have an eye patch about a 1/3 of the time
- Head wounds will be quickly bandaged, so the soldier can go back into combat...or just shout some more...
- Fantasy figure males will have muscles the size of Belgium or New Zealand; massive fore arms will be accompanied by tiny upper arms. Other wise, they will look like a lady's stocking stuffed with walnuts....
Poking fun at myself as much as the hobby...
Cheers for the silly season
C
inspired by this thread on Missing-Lynx armour models,
http://www.network54.com/Forum/4721...I+learned+about+military+history+from+models-
I thought that I might start one similar here (if the moderators agree - if not, bye -bye thread)
Thungs I Lernt by modelling Figurz
-WW 2 German soldiers wear lot of complicated camouflage patterns, and lost the war
- there seem to be lot more German soldiers then Allies
- Officers point a lot, while wearing binoculars
- NCO's point and yell a lot
- The only Wehrmacht soldiers seen wearing grey, seem to be trying to stay warm during winter in Russia
- 5'oclock shadow is almost compulsory
- When not in combat, marching, or eating, the soldiers must lean on their weapons, whatever the era they are in
- Crusaders liked to strike heroic, manly poses, so centuries later we can sculpt and paint them just right
- Ladies, when making an appearance, have more perfect dimensions then Jessica Alba, Angelina Jolie or Elle McPherson
- Ladies clothing is far, far smaller, tighter, shorter, skimpier, looser, clingy, translucent or suggestive then ever dreamt of, when said clothing is present...
- Ladies made by Anime artists will have serious balance problems, due to hugely exaggerated breast size, skinny and long legs, and tiny, petite, delicate feet
- Fantasy ladies who traveled around during Conan's era prefer chain-mail two piece bikinis, knee high (minimum) leather boots with fold down tops.
- These ladies also wore g-string briefs into combat
- These ladies are also perfectly toned, with great teeth, perfect hair, ample busts, and have shiny armour. Breastplates have never looked so shiny or grubby free
- Elven archers will always have a cloak, blowing dramatically, despite the fact they are usually scrambling through tree tops
- Napoleonic Era Infantry seem to be the only guys who get dirty
- American Civil War soldiers occasionally get really grubby, yet sport magnificent, luxuriant beards
- Space marines will usually have well finished armour, a serious fire arm, and tiny magazine holders on their webbing. I still can't work out where they keep the spare magazines for their main firearm
- Only the most photogenic people made it as soldiers; no weak chinned, buck teethed, glasses wearing puny type with ill fitting uniform ever made it off the recruiting ground...
- ...unless for comic effect, usually to drive NCO's to point and shout some more.
- Axis armoured crews, when portrayed as bust, will have an eye patch about a 1/3 of the time
- Head wounds will be quickly bandaged, so the soldier can go back into combat...or just shout some more...
- Fantasy figure males will have muscles the size of Belgium or New Zealand; massive fore arms will be accompanied by tiny upper arms. Other wise, they will look like a lady's stocking stuffed with walnuts....
Poking fun at myself as much as the hobby...
Cheers for the silly season
C
