Martin Antonenko
A Fixture
- Joined
- Jul 11, 2008
- Messages
- 8,994
The Cake War
Yes, you read that right!
After the "cod war" between Iceland and Great Britain (1975 to 1977), which is almost unknown in this country, the "football war" between the states of Honduras and El Salvador (1969), there was another bizarre war, namely the "cake War ", which I want to tell you about today.
And this is not about a "cold buffet battle", but a real bloody conflict, with cannons, explosions, heroes, dead and everything!
So there was in tranquil Tacubaya ...
... a suburb of Mexico City, a French baker, Monsieur Stephan Remontel. Here he can be seen on the folloeing picture with his family and employees - he himself is on horseback ...:
His bakery had been ransacked by Mexican officers in 1832, and he turned to the French King Louis-Philippe (1773–1850) for help; Remontel is demanding 600,000 pesos in compensation for its destroyed bakery.
Perhaps that was a little over the top - a Mexican hard worker was earning a peso a day at the time - but France immediately embraced the baker's demand.
"Citizen" - King Louis Philippe ...
... who ruled the "Grande Nation" at the time, gave the Mexican government a corresponding ultimatum and demanded 600,000 pesos, no more and no less, by a certain date!
Otherwise...
The Mexicans also wondered what this "otherwise ..." meant. Did France really want to start a war over a broken bakery?
The Mexican President Anastasio Bustamante ...
... didn't believe it and refused to pay. Let the presumptuous Gauls slip down his hump!
"Citizen" King Louis Philippe, however, had taken his "otherwise" seriously - so he packed several thousand soldiers on warships, put them together into a fleet and headed the one-armed Rear Admiral Charles Baudin with the command...:
The admiral's orders:
Block all Mexican ports in the Gulf of Mexico, occupy the port of Veracruz and level the fortress of San Juan de Ulua there with his cannons to the ground.
That is how great powers dealt with nations in those days that they considered to be third-class!
And Admiral Baudin did! With his cannons! The fortress level with the ground! On November 27, 1838 ...:
And occupied Veracruz with his soldiers. And blocked all ports.
He didn't have many, but fast and modern ships! It was the first time that steamships were used in an armed conflict, including the two wheeled corvettes "Phaeton" and "Metéore".
"Commande exécutée, Sire!"
Mexico's President Bustamante hardly knew what was happening to him! And even less what to do now. To pay the 600,000 pesos to the French now would have meant an unbearable loss of face for him (and his nation, with whom he was of course equal!)
An almost forgotten general from the past came riding to Mexico City and politely recommended himself as commander in chief against the French:
And that was none other than General Antonio López de Santa Ana ...
... which we all still know from the Alamo, where his soldiers John Wayne and Richard Widmark - uhh no, of course, slaughtered Jim Bowie and Davy Crockett, and who had shamefully lost the subsequent decisive battle of San Jacinto in 1836 against General Sam Houston.
The Mexicans had deposed Santa Ana as military dictator, but neglected to make him a head shorter according to local custom (in the opposite case, Santa Ana would have done it!) and instead allowed him to retire to his hacienda "Lencero" near Xalapa. ..:
Now the (not so old) warrior craved new war glory and infinitely relieved to be able to shift the responsibility, the Mexican president entrusted the general with the command.
But to really win, Santa Ana came a little late, because after eight months the French left again!
However, he attacked the marching rearguard of the French at Veracruz and ruffled them a little.
And then blew up the small success propagandistically to an over-Waterloo!
The most important thing about this battle, which was more of a skirmish: General Santa Ana got a musket shot in the lower leg, the wound became burned and his leg had to be amputated.
With the sure feeling of a caudillo for the expectations of the masses, Santa Ana had a tomb built for his cut leg and buried there with military honors, with all chingdarasabum, salute and so on ...:
Yes, you read that right!
After the "cod war" between Iceland and Great Britain (1975 to 1977), which is almost unknown in this country, the "football war" between the states of Honduras and El Salvador (1969), there was another bizarre war, namely the "cake War ", which I want to tell you about today.
And this is not about a "cold buffet battle", but a real bloody conflict, with cannons, explosions, heroes, dead and everything!
So there was in tranquil Tacubaya ...
... a suburb of Mexico City, a French baker, Monsieur Stephan Remontel. Here he can be seen on the folloeing picture with his family and employees - he himself is on horseback ...:
His bakery had been ransacked by Mexican officers in 1832, and he turned to the French King Louis-Philippe (1773–1850) for help; Remontel is demanding 600,000 pesos in compensation for its destroyed bakery.
Perhaps that was a little over the top - a Mexican hard worker was earning a peso a day at the time - but France immediately embraced the baker's demand.
"Citizen" - King Louis Philippe ...
... who ruled the "Grande Nation" at the time, gave the Mexican government a corresponding ultimatum and demanded 600,000 pesos, no more and no less, by a certain date!
Otherwise...
The Mexicans also wondered what this "otherwise ..." meant. Did France really want to start a war over a broken bakery?
The Mexican President Anastasio Bustamante ...
... didn't believe it and refused to pay. Let the presumptuous Gauls slip down his hump!
"Citizen" King Louis Philippe, however, had taken his "otherwise" seriously - so he packed several thousand soldiers on warships, put them together into a fleet and headed the one-armed Rear Admiral Charles Baudin with the command...:
The admiral's orders:
Block all Mexican ports in the Gulf of Mexico, occupy the port of Veracruz and level the fortress of San Juan de Ulua there with his cannons to the ground.
That is how great powers dealt with nations in those days that they considered to be third-class!
And Admiral Baudin did! With his cannons! The fortress level with the ground! On November 27, 1838 ...:
And occupied Veracruz with his soldiers. And blocked all ports.
He didn't have many, but fast and modern ships! It was the first time that steamships were used in an armed conflict, including the two wheeled corvettes "Phaeton" and "Metéore".
"Commande exécutée, Sire!"
Mexico's President Bustamante hardly knew what was happening to him! And even less what to do now. To pay the 600,000 pesos to the French now would have meant an unbearable loss of face for him (and his nation, with whom he was of course equal!)
An almost forgotten general from the past came riding to Mexico City and politely recommended himself as commander in chief against the French:
And that was none other than General Antonio López de Santa Ana ...
... which we all still know from the Alamo, where his soldiers John Wayne and Richard Widmark - uhh no, of course, slaughtered Jim Bowie and Davy Crockett, and who had shamefully lost the subsequent decisive battle of San Jacinto in 1836 against General Sam Houston.
The Mexicans had deposed Santa Ana as military dictator, but neglected to make him a head shorter according to local custom (in the opposite case, Santa Ana would have done it!) and instead allowed him to retire to his hacienda "Lencero" near Xalapa. ..:
Now the (not so old) warrior craved new war glory and infinitely relieved to be able to shift the responsibility, the Mexican president entrusted the general with the command.
But to really win, Santa Ana came a little late, because after eight months the French left again!
However, he attacked the marching rearguard of the French at Veracruz and ruffled them a little.
And then blew up the small success propagandistically to an over-Waterloo!
The most important thing about this battle, which was more of a skirmish: General Santa Ana got a musket shot in the lower leg, the wound became burned and his leg had to be amputated.
With the sure feeling of a caudillo for the expectations of the masses, Santa Ana had a tomb built for his cut leg and buried there with military honors, with all chingdarasabum, salute and so on ...:
The gravestone says:
Leg
1794-1838
Hero of War
Against France
Then he rode tirelessly through the country, infusing himself and his "Over-Waterloo" extensively and always held his wooden leg above his head as proof of his bravery, integrity and truth! The wooden leg can be admired in the museum in Mexico City today ...:
And what happened?
We suspect it: The year 1841 saw General de Santa Ana again as President of the Republic of Mexico!
However, his second reign only lasted until March 1, 1854. Then the Mexicans got fed up with him again and chased him away again.
And this time there was nothing of a comfortable retirement at the hacienda, this time the Mexicans would have made him a head shorter - but Santa Ana did them no favor and was able to save himself and his lofty head to Cuba.
Oh yes, the reason for the war had been Monsieur de Boulanger Remontel's claim for damages. What about the 600,000 pesos?
When the victor was practically determined, the English finally knew who to support.
They would never have supported the loser as the Confederates in the Noth America would have to learn in the near future! You make money from losers, but you don't support them! The Empire was founded on such principles!
Well, so the English put their diplomats on the march, support the winner, France, according to the program, and Mexico finally transferred the 600,000 to the French!
The state of France, mind you, and not Monsieur Remontel. Unfortunately, it is not known whether he has ever seen a centime of the sum.
My guess is: The "Grande Nation" will have collected the money to cover the war costs ...
So that was the "cake war". You think one can only make up shit like that?
Nope - every word is true!
