Pretentious! Moi!?
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krom1415
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polyphemus
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Priceless!
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Yeah, the bloke's a pretentious bell-end and no mistake. And don't you just love how he pontificates self-importantly about "global warming" while flying his favourite hat round the world in first class?
Choosing a poncy stage name like "Bono" (or "The Edge" or "Sting") is the mark of a complete twat in my book.
I'm usually a lover not a fighter. But if he were to walk into my local, I'd quite cheerfully stamp on his sunglasses.
- Steve
Choosing a poncy stage name like "Bono" (or "The Edge" or "Sting") is the mark of a complete twat in my book.
I'm usually a lover not a fighter. But if he were to walk into my local, I'd quite cheerfully stamp on his sunglasses.
- Steve
DEL
A Fixture
Glasgow audiences famously don't take prisoners, particularly comics. An old favourite story amongst many is.... (as recounted by Billy Connelly and Johnie Beattie)Mike and Bernie Winters joined the ranks of those crucified at the Glasgow Empire in their debut performance.
Their act always started with Mike springing on to the stage to play a zippy number on his clarinet. After a couple of minutes, Bernie's cheeky face would peek through the centre curtains.
But from the Glasgow audience came the cry "Christ, there's two of 'em".
The reason is simple EVERYONE in Glasgow thinks they're a comic. Of course it's not just Glasgow don't forget Liverpool and Newcastle.
Kirk Douglas´s lesser-known son Eric was in the UK a few years ago, trying to make his mark in stand-up comedy. He was going down badly, so grabbed the mic and said: "What´s wrong with you? Don´t you know who I am? I´m the son of Kirk Douglas!"
There was absolute silence, then someone at the back stood up and said: "No - I´m the son of Kirk Douglas!"
Followed within seconds by the whole audience .
Derek
diamond cutter
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My God! You people! Didn't you know that, in Africa, every 60 seconds a whole minute passes by? ffs
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Yes Alex, I have a feeling that it's one of those urban myths, and I'd heard it before as well. Still funny though - and in Bono's case also quite believable.
Good to meet you at Euro by the way!
- Steve
Ron Tamburrini
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Mike and Bernie Winters joined the ranks of those crucified at the Glasgow Empire in their debut performance.
Their act always started with Mike springing on to the stage to play a zippy number on his clarinet. After a couple of minutes, Bernie's cheeky face would peek through the centre curtains.
But from the Glasgow audience came the cry "Christ, there's two of 'em".
The reason is simple EVERYONE in Glasgow thinks they're a comic. Of course it's not just Glasgow don't forget Liverpool and Newcastle.
Kirk Douglas´s lesser-known son Eric was in the UK a few years ago, trying to make his mark in stand-up comedy. He was going down badly, so grabbed the mic and said: "What´s wrong with you? Don´t you know who I am? I´m the son of Kirk Douglas!"
There was absolute silence, then someone at the back stood up and said: "No - I´m the son of Kirk Douglas!"
Followed within seconds by the whole audience .
Derek
Wings5797
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Ron Tamburrini
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Yeh me too, I remember some Spanish guys doing that one in the eleventh century
I thought I had been around a while but the "11th Century " Bu--er you guys been here forever
Ron
DEL
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Oh that one! A crusader turns to his mate and says 'every time I clap my hands a Moor dies' great says his mate 'Let's Flamenco'Yeh me too, I remember some Spanish guys doing that one in the eleventh century
Wings5797
A Fixture
Ah, I remember that night with a passion. I broke the heal on my 2.5 inch cuban boot and had to walk home with one foot on the pavement and the other in the gutter. It was a tad like the Jocks invasion of Euromilitaire 2012
Ron Tamburrini
A Fixture
How did you know we were in the gutter well one of us was flat on his ass that's for sure said it was just a dizzy turn
Bertorelli the jock
well one of us was flat on his ass that's for sure said it was just a dizzy turnBertorelli the jock
Wings5797
A Fixture
I just put two and two together Ron;
Band of Jocks (plus Italian Jock), coming down from high altitude and drinking cheap Sassenach whisky = just a dizzy turn.
Cheers,
Keith
Band of Jocks (plus Italian Jock), coming down from high altitude and drinking cheap Sassenach whisky = just a dizzy turn.
Cheers,
Keith
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