I'll start the ball rolling
The Rugby World Cup - A Guide for Wendyball Fans
Some of you Football Fans will doubtless want to give some of your time to the RWC over the next few weeks, so you may find the following useful. Firstly, you may have noticed that England have been paired with Uruguay. Do not be alarmed, they are actually sh*t. Surprisingly, more worrying are Wales, who are half handy, and Australia who are more than handy, they are Feck...ing Good. You may also have spotted Fiji. Fiji does not play Left side midfield for Southampton, its actually a place and we are playing them tonight
During the Matches you will see some disturbing sights. Players are going to get Hit. They are going to get Hit Extremely hard, and they are going to get up again without complaining, and without rolling around in agony. This is normal in Rugby, and is called Manning the **** Up. You will also notice that the Players will not surround the Referee and call him A ******. They will also not call the Touch Judge A Blind ******. Finally, the Crowd wil not sing 'The Referees A ******'. I know its Odd, but we kind of like it that way.
The Rules. This obviously is a tricky one. Four Years ago the Call of choice from Footie Fans was 'Over the Top Ref'. You were never right then, and chances are you wont be now. Far better to go with 'In at the Side'. Since neither the Players, the Ref or the Crowd ever get this right, there is every chance you may pull this one off. Just don't shout it during A Scrum or A Lineout as you will look A Complete Dick. Finally, don't bother shouting 'Not Straight' at A Scrum. No International Scrum has been fed straight since 1987, and that was an Accident
Watching in the Pub. This will be equally strange for You. Supporters of both Teams will be present and wearing their 'Colours'. They are not going to attempt to Kill or Maim each other, And they will not abuse each other with Foul Language. The Atmosphere will be pleasant (unless too many of you ********* turn up....) It will most definitely NOT be A wise move for you to 'Offer someone out'. In the unlikely event that someone from A Rugby Club 'Offers you out', The wisest course of action will be to leave via the Toilet Window.
I hope you find this useful, and please try not to be too much of A pain in the Arse. Enjoy!!
The Rugby World Cup - A Guide for Wendyball Fans
Some of you Football Fans will doubtless want to give some of your time to the RWC over the next few weeks, so you may find the following useful. Firstly, you may have noticed that England have been paired with Uruguay. Do not be alarmed, they are actually sh*t. Surprisingly, more worrying are Wales, who are half handy, and Australia who are more than handy, they are Feck...ing Good. You may also have spotted Fiji. Fiji does not play Left side midfield for Southampton, its actually a place and we are playing them tonight
During the Matches you will see some disturbing sights. Players are going to get Hit. They are going to get Hit Extremely hard, and they are going to get up again without complaining, and without rolling around in agony. This is normal in Rugby, and is called Manning the **** Up. You will also notice that the Players will not surround the Referee and call him A ******. They will also not call the Touch Judge A Blind ******. Finally, the Crowd wil not sing 'The Referees A ******'. I know its Odd, but we kind of like it that way.
The Rules. This obviously is a tricky one. Four Years ago the Call of choice from Footie Fans was 'Over the Top Ref'. You were never right then, and chances are you wont be now. Far better to go with 'In at the Side'. Since neither the Players, the Ref or the Crowd ever get this right, there is every chance you may pull this one off. Just don't shout it during A Scrum or A Lineout as you will look A Complete Dick. Finally, don't bother shouting 'Not Straight' at A Scrum. No International Scrum has been fed straight since 1987, and that was an Accident
Watching in the Pub. This will be equally strange for You. Supporters of both Teams will be present and wearing their 'Colours'. They are not going to attempt to Kill or Maim each other, And they will not abuse each other with Foul Language. The Atmosphere will be pleasant (unless too many of you ********* turn up....) It will most definitely NOT be A wise move for you to 'Offer someone out'. In the unlikely event that someone from A Rugby Club 'Offers you out', The wisest course of action will be to leave via the Toilet Window.
I hope you find this useful, and please try not to be too much of A pain in the Arse. Enjoy!!
...... it's only Rules when the Queen's playing in her chosen position of blind side flanker.
