It's Thursday

[simon1969]

A frog walks into a bank & goes to the nearest window,
“Hello”, say’s the Frog, “My name’s Kermit Jagger you might know my dad, Mick?”
“Hello”, says the bank clerk “my name’s Patrick Whack, my friends call me Paddy, what can I do for you?”
“Well” says the Frog, “As my dad is Mick Jagger, I’d like you to give me £10,000 please”
“I’m sorry”, says the clerk “but I can’t authorise a loan on the strength of your relationship to Mr. Jagger, Do you have anything you could use as collateral?”
The frog thinks about this for a moment, then puts his hand in his pocket and produces a small porcelain Hippopotamus, “Will this do?” he asks.
The clerk takes the Hippo and looks puzzled “hmmm, I have no idea what this is” he thinks “But this Frog thinks he can use it as collateral on an 10 grand loan, so it might be something really special”
Not wanting to appear foolish, the clerk decides to go ask the bank manager what the Hippo is.
He walks into the manager’s office and explains the whole thing, handing the bank manager the Hippo.
The manager looks at the Hippo, then at the clerk, then he says
“It’s a knick-knack, Paddy Whack, give the Frog a loan! His old man’s a Rolling Stone”


I thank you!!!!

 

[Robin]

lmao


Robin

 

[LCoote]

old but still good :lol:

 

[simon1969]

OK, this one might not work outside the UK but here goes:

A Jelly Baby and an M&M are sharing a flat.
One Friday night the M&M say’s “Come on! I’m bored, let’s go out clubbing!”
“Ooohhh no!” says the Jelly Baby, “I’m too soft, I’m afraid there might be trouble!”
“Aw, don’t worry about it” says the M&M, “I’m a hard case, if there’s any trouble I’ll protect you”
“OK” says the Jelly Baby and off they go for a night on the town.
All goes well until they are on their way home, when a couple of Lockets start picking on the Jelly Baby.
The M&M just sits there and lets the Jelly Baby get a right good kick in!
When it’s over the Jelly Baby’s crying, “You said you’d protect me you b*stard! Why didn’t you step in?”
“Are you kidding?!” says the M&M, “those Lockets are f*cking menthol !”