DEL
A Fixture
Hmmmmmm......The Bertorelli Baboon??......is there a demand........I wonderThat's it Roger, it's not the first time - now I'm off to the Monkey Relations Board.
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Introducing The Bertorelli
- Thread starter DEL
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DEL
A Fixture
There's Gimp suits and there's Gimp suits.............and then there's The Bertorelli.. Mmmmmm mmmm
Ron Tamburrini
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The new Bertirelli outfit for euro 2013
DEL
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Relax Richie your needs are finally catered for with the.......Bertorelli Baboon. (inflatable special edition at no extra cost, just pucker up and blow)That's it Roger, it's not the first time - now I'm off to the Monkey Relations Board.
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The Bertorelli Halloween Special launches on Monday
Ron Tamburrini
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You Make'a funna me
DEL
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Whata make'a you thinka that?
billyturnip
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One question, do you inflate it before putting it on or do you put it on and then find a friend to do the inflating?
Ron Tamburrini
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DEL
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I was thinking more that this would be something a friend would wear. That way those inclined have the trill of the 'blow' and the anticipation of a potential 'blowback'.
The Halloween Special involves livestock {no sheep}
billyturnip
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You got that kinda friend
Hmm how much does that kind of thing cost?
DEL
A Fixture
Suggest you try before you buy. Inflate a red baloon with any noxious bananananana based substance...stick your face on it and burst it with a pin. This I suspect is an aquired taste. Richie will be able to explain better than most
The Halloween Special is an Interactive Experience for the discerning Bertorelli wearer
billyturnip
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Crikey! I thought they just hung 'em in Hartlepool.... didn't know there was any other shenanigans.
DEL
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For all the Monkey Hangers and Napoleonic fans
Ron Tamburrini
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DEL
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Dear customers The Bertorelli Halloween Special lanches tomorrow. This will be a bit of a departure from our normal ranges and will test the modelling skills of many of our members.
This will be followed by a Christmas Special, a Summer Holiday 2013 Special and our delayed from 2012 Octoberfest Special. ***
Bertorelli Breeks International will cease production on 30th September 2013 at which point we will launch a new enterprise that will be of benefit to many on this site. Planning is well in hand and the workhouses have been leased from a well known if redundant Tory Minister.
Derek
*** please note if major events occur at any time prior to closure the management reserve the right to edition unplanned specials.
This will be followed by a Christmas Special, a Summer Holiday 2013 Special and our delayed from 2012 Octoberfest Special. ***
Bertorelli Breeks International will cease production on 30th September 2013 at which point we will launch a new enterprise that will be of benefit to many on this site. Planning is well in hand and the workhouses have been leased from a well known if redundant Tory Minister.
Derek
*** please note if major events occur at any time prior to closure the management reserve the right to edition unplanned specials.
DEL
A Fixture
to follow
DEL
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The Bertorelli Captain Pumpkin Pants Halloween Special.View attachment 107701
DEL
A Fixture
The Bertorelli Captain Pumpkin Pants Halloween Special.
Dear Customers in a departure from our usual supplied ready to wear service we have for this special decided to involve you in a creative way that takes you back to your childhood or in many cases your second child hood.
You will be supplied with everything you need, except the pumpkin. EU Regulations prevent us trading in fairytale and comedy foodstuffs.
Regarding the supply of suitably sized pumpkins as you all know every male T’up North (note the apostrophe country boys) aged over 10 living between the Watford Gap and the Scottish Border wears a flat cap, keeps pigeons and….yes…grows GIANT vegetables.
We suggest you contact our very own Roger (billyturnip) Newsome, Carl (housecarrot) Barton and of course Mark (gothic leek) Benette….seen here playing cat in the middle with Rogers huge gherkin
You will receive an untraceable chib (knife) from our supplier in the Glesca Barras (a bit like a Glaswegian Silicone Valley crossed with Dubai).
Hollow out your pumpkin ensuring a watertight fit around your thighs. Please note that the waist opening requires to be commodious to allow a sufficient amount of water to be poured in and held.
Carefully step into your pumpkin pants, fill with water and add…..THE FISH….yes you will be supplied with 100 Doctor Fish. These little critters will nibble away at any dead and diseased flesh from around your nether regions, a benefit to many here I’m sure.
Of course as ever we have an option for the more adventurous gentleman and instead of the Doctor Fish you will be supplied with 2 Piranhas
specially selected by our own Ron Tamburrini from the Forth and Clyde Canal at Maryhill, a small rural village near Glasgow.
With this option suitable seasonal screaming is guaranteed giving the full Halloween experience.
As usual should you feel that you consumer rights have in any way been compromised following your use of our product or indeed should you feel that any resultant injury exceeds your expectation then feel free to arrange a home visit with our Director of Customer Relations
Who will show you what excessive injury really feels like.
“Our Customers Matter To Us”
Dear Customers in a departure from our usual supplied ready to wear service we have for this special decided to involve you in a creative way that takes you back to your childhood or in many cases your second child hood.
You will be supplied with everything you need, except the pumpkin. EU Regulations prevent us trading in fairytale and comedy foodstuffs.
Regarding the supply of suitably sized pumpkins as you all know every male T’up North (note the apostrophe country boys) aged over 10 living between the Watford Gap and the Scottish Border wears a flat cap, keeps pigeons and….yes…grows GIANT vegetables.
We suggest you contact our very own Roger (billyturnip) Newsome, Carl (housecarrot) Barton and of course Mark (gothic leek) Benette….seen here playing cat in the middle with Rogers huge gherkin
You will receive an untraceable chib (knife) from our supplier in the Glesca Barras (a bit like a Glaswegian Silicone Valley crossed with Dubai).
Hollow out your pumpkin ensuring a watertight fit around your thighs. Please note that the waist opening requires to be commodious to allow a sufficient amount of water to be poured in and held.
Carefully step into your pumpkin pants, fill with water and add…..THE FISH….yes you will be supplied with 100 Doctor Fish. These little critters will nibble away at any dead and diseased flesh from around your nether regions, a benefit to many here I’m sure.
Of course as ever we have an option for the more adventurous gentleman and instead of the Doctor Fish you will be supplied with 2 Piranhas
specially selected by our own Ron Tamburrini from the Forth and Clyde Canal at Maryhill, a small rural village near Glasgow.
With this option suitable seasonal screaming is guaranteed giving the full Halloween experience.
As usual should you feel that you consumer rights have in any way been compromised following your use of our product or indeed should you feel that any resultant injury exceeds your expectation then feel free to arrange a home visit with our Director of Customer Relations
Who will show you what excessive injury really feels like.
“Our Customers Matter To Us”
