DEL
A Fixture
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Introducing The Bertorelli
- Thread starter DEL
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DEL
A Fixture
The Bertorelli Captain Pumpkin Pants Halloween Special.View attachment 107701
DEL
A Fixture
The Bertorelli Captain Pumpkin Pants Halloween Special.
Dear Customers in a departure from our usual supplied ready to wear service we have for this special decided to involve you in a creative way that takes you back to your childhood or in many cases your second child hood.
You will be supplied with everything you need, except the pumpkin. EU Regulations prevent us trading in fairytale and comedy foodstuffs.
Regarding the supply of suitably sized pumpkins as you all know every male T’up North (note the apostrophe country boys) aged over 10 living between the Watford Gap and the Scottish Border wears a flat cap, keeps pigeons and….yes…grows GIANT vegetables.
We suggest you contact our very own Roger (billyturnip) Newsome, Carl (housecarrot) Barton and of course Mark (gothic leek) Benette….seen here playing cat in the middle with Rogers huge gherkin
You will receive an untraceable chib (knife) from our supplier in the Glesca Barras (a bit like a Glaswegian Silicone Valley crossed with Dubai).
Hollow out your pumpkin ensuring a watertight fit around your thighs. Please note that the waist opening requires to be commodious to allow a sufficient amount of water to be poured in and held.
Carefully step into your pumpkin pants, fill with water and add…..THE FISH….yes you will be supplied with 100 Doctor Fish. These little critters will nibble away at any dead and diseased flesh from around your nether regions, a benefit to many here I’m sure.
Of course as ever we have an option for the more adventurous gentleman and instead of the Doctor Fish you will be supplied with 2 Piranhas
specially selected by our own Ron Tamburrini from the Forth and Clyde Canal at Maryhill, a small rural village near Glasgow.
With this option suitable seasonal screaming is guaranteed giving the full Halloween experience.
As usual should you feel that you consumer rights have in any way been compromised following your use of our product or indeed should you feel that any resultant injury exceeds your expectation then feel free to arrange a home visit with our Director of Customer Relations
Who will show you what excessive injury really feels like.
“Our Customers Matter To Us”
Dear Customers in a departure from our usual supplied ready to wear service we have for this special decided to involve you in a creative way that takes you back to your childhood or in many cases your second child hood.
You will be supplied with everything you need, except the pumpkin. EU Regulations prevent us trading in fairytale and comedy foodstuffs.
Regarding the supply of suitably sized pumpkins as you all know every male T’up North (note the apostrophe country boys) aged over 10 living between the Watford Gap and the Scottish Border wears a flat cap, keeps pigeons and….yes…grows GIANT vegetables.
We suggest you contact our very own Roger (billyturnip) Newsome, Carl (housecarrot) Barton and of course Mark (gothic leek) Benette….seen here playing cat in the middle with Rogers huge gherkin
You will receive an untraceable chib (knife) from our supplier in the Glesca Barras (a bit like a Glaswegian Silicone Valley crossed with Dubai).
Hollow out your pumpkin ensuring a watertight fit around your thighs. Please note that the waist opening requires to be commodious to allow a sufficient amount of water to be poured in and held.
Carefully step into your pumpkin pants, fill with water and add…..THE FISH….yes you will be supplied with 100 Doctor Fish. These little critters will nibble away at any dead and diseased flesh from around your nether regions, a benefit to many here I’m sure.
Of course as ever we have an option for the more adventurous gentleman and instead of the Doctor Fish you will be supplied with 2 Piranhas
specially selected by our own Ron Tamburrini from the Forth and Clyde Canal at Maryhill, a small rural village near Glasgow.
With this option suitable seasonal screaming is guaranteed giving the full Halloween experience.
As usual should you feel that you consumer rights have in any way been compromised following your use of our product or indeed should you feel that any resultant injury exceeds your expectation then feel free to arrange a home visit with our Director of Customer Relations
Who will show you what excessive injury really feels like.
“Our Customers Matter To Us”
Ron Tamburrini
A Fixture
That looks like the Butny ,Named after Botany bay Im told where all our Australian cousins started off doon the canal to the river clyde
Andrew Craft
A Fixture
I thought us Aussies started off up shit creek, never was good at history though.
Ron Tamburrini
A Fixture
The butny was shit creek Andrew!! I know I was born there,went to school there along with all the rest off ragged arse bunch 
Some say it still is
Some say it still is
DEL
A Fixture
Water........what the hells that?
Ron Tamburrini
A Fixture
its stuff the English drink Del
Andrew Craft
A Fixture
DEL
A Fixture
And I thought that was the Wrath of God.......John Knox you've been lying to me all this timeThat stuff that falls from the sky a few times an hour up there
Ron Tamburrini
A Fixture
Andrew it falls every second of the day
Tarracus
A Fixture
This is the most active thread around the forum..Someone could create a poll asking to rename it "PlanetBertorelli"!!
Andrew Craft
A Fixture
You
You should have got on that boat that took off down shit creek and ended up in Botany Bay. I think your boys 200 years ago might have had the right idea
Ron Tamburrini
A Fixture
This is the most active thread around the forum..Someone could create a poll asking to rename it "PlanetBertorelli"!!
You realise because of the incessant rain we have to to stay in the hoose "house in English or Casa as Bertorelli would say"
which drives us all stir crazy ,hence the trouble we cause when we march into England
Tarracus
A Fixture
I know..who likes water?...fishes make love in it
Ron Tamburrini
A Fixture
You got that right Andrew!!
Shit creek ,the forth and clyde canal or the noly as it is affectionally known.
Apparently it is going from this
to this 
Well I won't hold my breath thats for sure.
Shit creek ,the forth and clyde canal or the noly as it is affectionally known.
Apparently it is going from this
to this 
Well I won't hold my breath thats for sure.
DEL
A Fixture
Tamburrini concentrate CONCENTRATE this is a serious business venture......any more of this and I'll be using Don to pad around Possil modelling the new ranges.
You've been warned
DerekBell. CEO STD CDM
concentrate CONCENTRATE this is a serious business venture......any more of this and I'll be using Don to pad around Possil modelling the new ranges.You've been warned
DerekBell. CEO STD CDM
Ron Tamburrini
A Fixture
Tamburrini
You've been warned
DerekBell. CEO STD CDM
Are you suggesting that our city fathers are no going to create that beautiful waterway in Maryhill Del.
Next you will be telling me there's no Robot Heaven
